I feel like I need to hurry and write down a little experience Lucy and I had last night, before it leaves my brain. I hope to get this in my personal journal as well, but I dont want to forget any of the details, so here we go.
I should start off by first saying how sweet Lucy has been lately. I dont know if its just the fact that I know she will no longer be an only child in the upcoming months, or just that she is developing the sweetest personality; but either way she makes my heart melt every single day. She is so kind, loving, funny and happy it makes every day the best day. Yesterday as Matt and I were driving home from cleaning the office, I kept telling Lucy over and over how much I loved her, and asking her why she was being so cute, that only continued as she fell asleep on our walk in her stroller and just wanted me to hold her. Because of the unplanned late nap, bed time was a challenge. We stuck to our schedule, and I had her brushing her teeth at 8pm so that we could get her into bed. As she laid down she was all over the place, talking up a storm and wiggling all around. I told her I wasn't going to lay by her and she needed to settle down, close her eyes and go to sleep. I got off her bed and sat in the rocking chair in her room. Almost immediately she told me she needed to go potty, so up we went to the bathroom, once we finished in there, we were back in her room. As we sat on her bed she sat down next to me and said "Prayer?" So I asked her if she wanted to say a prayer and she nodded then folded her arms. (She is always reminding me what is important) We said a little prayer and read a story, then I tucked her back into bed, again.
-- as a side note, this pregnancy I have been having quite a bit of back pain, both with contractions and my sciatic nerve, so it isn't rare for me to say that my back hurts during the day and especially at night. Last night, I was especially having a hard time, standing up, bending over, holding Lucy, walking, everything hurt!--
As Lucy laid in bed continuing to be wiggly, she said, "Mom, my back hurts. Rub it?" I ignored her the first time, and again she said, "Mama, back hurts! Rub it?" So I walked over to her bed, painfully laid down next to her and started rubbing her tiny back. She giggled a little and then reassured me that her back still hurt. So I quietly said, "mommy's back hurts too because of baby sister." Her reply, "baby sister? I see her. I talk to her" So she quickly sat up, grabbed my shirt and lifted it up to expose my bare belly. She put her face right on my tummy and said, "Hi sister! Hi, hi hi!" then gave my tummy a kiss. As we laid there Lucy kept her hand right on my belly and kept rubbing it and patting it, occasionally saying hello to her little sis. I had started out laying there in frustration that Lucy was not already asleep, and that I was having to lay next to her... this sweet little moment brought tears to my eyes. I feel SO lucky to have such a sweet little girl in our family, Lucy is always reminding us to be happy, be thankful and to be loving. She already loves her baby sister so much, and even though some days I feel really sad that Lucy wont be our only baby anymore, I cannot wait for the love in our home to grow and to be able to watch Lucy take over as a big sister. Bedtime did not come easy last night.. after staying in her room for about an hour, I gave up and we decided to go into my room to see if she would lay on my bed. I wish I could say I was successful in getting her to sleep, and that I had kept my patience the entire time.... unfortunately, I can't. My patience ran very short, I was in pain, and I was frustrated. I got mad at Lucy which made the situation worse... so thankfully Matt stepped in and took Lucy to sleep and got her down in no time. I hate that sometimes as a mom, you over react, or your get so frustrated with these sweet little ones. The mom guilt immediately set in and I wished I could go wake Lucy up and hold her and give her kisses. But every day is not perfect, I make all sorts of mistakes, but my one hope is that I will never do anything to change Lucy. I never want her to be any less sweet, loving, kind and funny.
I am thankful for her sweet spirit in reminding me daily what is most important and keeping me on my toes. I am so thankful to be a mother, and look forward to having a house full of love as we add this new babe in a few months.